Bsupport4us

supporting you through your eating disorder and self harm


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trapazeswinger wrote in bsupport4us
Hello everyone and thank you so much for taking a look at this!

I'm twenty years old and, until this year started, I've been a pretty happy and relaxed girl. Now, after some silly relationship problems with both boyfriends and friends, I seem to be getting worse and worse! It started by waking up crying and falling asleep crying, then I thought I was getting better, until I found myself with a razor on my hand and cutting my face. I don't cry anymore, actually, though I know the sadness must be still here, or I wouldn't be doing such a stupid thing as harming myself! I just think... I'm not worth anything, and the only thing I can possibly do about that is keep cutting my cheek so deeply it will eventually scar horribly and - well, and then I wouldn't have to worry and question myself over and over again what's wrong with me.

Argh... This all sounds so stupid put like this... But even though I still think (and it scares me that I feel rational as I do so) that making myself disgustingly ugly for the rest of my life is the only solution, I do know I need help... So, anyone..?

And thank you so much to anyone who tries to help, I really do know I need to put things in perspective :)

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I dont know how it got so far

I probably tried to write this out so many times and I cant seem to write the truth and admit i'm not okay and what happened I dont know how some people can just say it..............

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